The Consequences of the Large Hadron Collider

On the boarder between France and Switzerland lies CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research (originally Conseil Européen pour la Recherche Nucléaire, hence CERN). Buried beneath the earth in a giant underground tunnel is the Large Hadron Collider (LHC), a massive particle accelerator which will create conditions similar to those found in the universe shortly after the big bang. Thousands of physicists are cooperating on this project in the hopes of finding the elusive Higgs boson, a theoretical subatomic particle that could help to create a unified theory of physics. The facility should be fully operational by August 2008.

The ColliderThere has, however, been some worry that the use of the LHC could have unforeseen consequences. One fear is that the accelerator will produce strangelets, a form of matter consisting of equal parts up, down and strange quarks, which are more stable than normal nuclei and could potentially transform all matter on earth into strange matter in a sort of chain reaction. Another worry is that micro black holes will be created. While this is quite possible, those working on the project point out that these tiny black holes would quickly dissipate due to Hawking radiation. Some are skeptical, however, as Hawking radiation has never been observed. Fears of the earth’s destruction have even spilled over into US federal court, where a couple of American citizens are filing suit in a desperate attempt to prevent the project from getting underway.

But these people are looking in the wrong direction. Sure, the use of the LHC may have dire consequences, but not because of strange matter and mini black holes. For the true danger of this particle accelerator, let us look back to our past human errors:

And the whole earth was of one language, and of one speech. And it came to pass, as they journeyed from the east, that they found a plain in the land of Shinar; and they dwelt there. And they said one to another, Go to, let us make brick, and burn them thoroughly. And they had brick for stone, and slime had they for morter. And they said, Go to, let us build us a city and a tower, whose top may reach unto heaven; and let us make us a name, lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth. And the LORD came down to see the city and the tower, which the children of men builded. And the LORD said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do. Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another’s speech. So the LORD scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth: and they left off to build the city. Therefore is the name of it called Babel; because the LORD did there confound the language of all the earth: and from thence did the LORD scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth. [Genesis 11:1-9, KJV]

Can this happen to us?Here, God confuses everyone’s languages because these people are able to do whatever they put their minds to. The Lord doesn’t take kindly to technological breakthoughs. He does not appreciate unchecked human progress and will do what He must to stop it.

So now we stand on the verge of understanding the intricacies of the universe. Scientists from all over the world are coming together to recreate the conditions found shortly after the big bang. Perhaps we should all ask ourselves “would the Lord approve of us learning some of His biggest secrets?”

The answer is an unequivocal no. God does not want us humans to know too much. Why do you think He told Adam and Eve not to eat the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil? And all Adam and Eve learned from that experience is that it’s embarrassing to be naked. Just think about how mad He’ll be if we develop an accurate Grand Unified Theory.

The consequences of a second language mix-up will be dire. First of all, the dedicated readers of my blog would not be able to understand anything I write. I can’t even begin to imagine how hard that would hit them. Secondly, it may cause technological problems; if God changes the binary numeral system used by computers to a ternary or quaternary system, we may be facing a dot com bust worse than the late ’90s. Also, I really don’t feel like taking the time to learn to read and write all over again.

There are ways to take advantage of this inevitable crisis, however. I, personally, am investing in Fairfield Language Technologies, the people who created Rosetta Stone language learning software. That company is going to be huge after we face God’s wrath for our hubris. Why not make the best of a bad situation?

And that is why I support CERN’s Large Hadron Collider.

~ by norealname on May 1, 2008.

3 Responses to “The Consequences of the Large Hadron Collider”

  1. Nice article….I am a Sikh and in our our religion we belive everything is happening according to will of God. A person does not take birth by his will nor he dies by his own will. So if this experiment is happening it is the will of God. Like Jesus said “Thy Will be Done”.. It is God’s will. This experiment is nothing compared to secerets which God knows about this Universe. Dont Worry.. God is ever merciful. He will not get angry.

  2. This is some deep stuff. Let’s say God allows this to take place. However, the result is so horrifying that people will seek out death, but will not be able to find it. A lot of things have not come to pass which are written in the bible, but for believers, you know they must just as you know death is a must. GOD’S will? GOD knows we cannot help ourselves. Our desires control us. WE love to gamble, just like that homeless man did in Vegas. I suppose I will have to hang on for the ride and hope we do not derail.

  3. Due to our lack knowledge of the Hawking Radiation Theory, why would we trust that this under studied theory would dissipate any minor black holes produced. History repeats itself and look what mistakes we have made and continue to make! God help us all!

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